Impossible Love
by Elijah-ships-johnlock
Summary: A short, sweet, Sirily one-shot. Hope you enjoy! Please leave a review!


Lily and Sirius sat alone in Gryffindor common room. Well, alone except for James, who was asleep on the couch. "Lily…" he muttered. Lily rolled her eyes. Sirius had been trying to get her to "just go out with James already" for the past hour and a half.

"Come on Evans, he's totally into you! You have to date him. And then bear his children," said Sirius.

"Bear his children?" she said, arching a quizzical eyebrow. "I don't think I'm interested."

"Not interested? Why not?"

"Because I fancy someone else."

"Who? It's not Snivellus, is it?"

"No. It's not him…even though everyone seems to think it is."

"Urgh. I might gag at the thought of Sniv with _anyone_."

"You're so mean! He's my friend, just as much as you guys are. Why don't you guys like him?"

"I don't know where to start on my hating-Severus-Snape front." Sirius grinned. "But if it annoys you, I'll be civil…for now." Lily smiled.

"Thank you, Sirius. You're a good friend."

"I must be," said Sirius with a chuckle. "You're the only person I'd consider dropping my prejudice against Snivellus for. Even if it's just temporary. Anyway, who are you crushing on, Lil?"

"I-no one…"

"Tell meeee," he whined, poking at her sides.

"Stop it!" she giggled. "You know I'm ticklish there!" Sirius grinned and continued poking her. "Stop!" she squealed.

"Are you gonna tell me who it is?"

"No," she said, still giggling.

"Then I'll just keep tickling you!" She squealed again.

"We're gonna wake Potter!" Sirius sighed and stopped poking her.

"Why won't you tell me?" he asked.

"Because I can't."

"That's bullshit, Evans, of course you can tell me."

"I can't. I wish I could, but I just…can't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because…" she said.

"Jeez Evans, your ability for eloquent speech is really taking a hit in this conversation. Tell me the truth."

"I want to tell you! I really do! But I just can't. It would mess things up."

"Mess what up?"

"If I tell you too much, you'll know it's you – err, I mean…NO! I didn't just say…" She slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Nonononono. You—I'm not…" He sighed. "Look, Lil, a lot of girls think they love me. But I'm not the sort of person you think I am and..." he sighed.

Lily buried her face in her knees which were pulled up towards her chest.

Sirius was confused and a bit speechless. He'd be lying if he said he'd never thought about her that way but Lily Evans was always supposed to be with James.

"Lily – "Sirius breathed deeply. "Come with me."

She stood and he led her out of the portrait hole and into the corridor. It was the middle of the night, but he'd rather be caught by a teacher than have James overhear this conversation. He pulled her into an empty classroom.

"Sirius? What are we doing here?"

"I can't have James hearing us talk." Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

"I'm sorry – "she said quickly.

"It's okay. I'm not sure what to do or say. I like you a lot, Evans. But I just can't hurt James."

"I understand," she said.

"No. You don't. You don't get it at all. James Potter is my _best_ friend. He has stood by me through everything. He even gave me a place to live after I ran away from home. I would, every single time, sacrifice my right to be happy in order to make him happy. And he would do the same. Which is why this can't happen. Ever."

"I knew that, Sirius. Why do you think I didn't want to tell you? That's why every time I thought about you, I tried and tried to forget you." She choked back tears. "I know how close you and Potter are and I know that this could never happen. And I know it's silly of me but I can't get you out of my bloody damn mind!"

Sirius was torn. His mind was full of anguish and dark thoughts, yet at the same time, he couldn't stop imagining him and Lily...holding hands, kissing, eating together, laughing...Anything.

Lily looked down at the floor. His face was entrancing and this was not a good time for her to be in a lovesick daze.

Sirius stared into Lily's green eyes. He pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. She was taken by surprise but melted into the kiss. It was intense and like nothing she'd ever felt before. It was phenomenal. Sirius' lips moved fiercely, his tongue attacking her mouth. His hands grasped her sides. She pressed herself against his body. Her fingers ran through his tangled, black hair. Her tongue explored his lips, begging for more. He wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Sirius," she whispered. "I'm scared."

"Don't be." His lips brushed on her ear as he whispered to her.

He took her hand and led her to the Secret room. The room that appeared when you needed it. There, in the room was a bed of roses with petals from Lilies sprinkled over the bed and the floor around it. The room was dimly lit by several candles scattered around the floor. The air smelled of cinnamon and flower petals.

There, in the hazy glow of the candles, and the darkness of the night, the held and caressed each other. The sparks ignited between them. Every touch was like nothing either of them had ever felt before. And nothing they would ever feel again. Each breath they drew brought new life to them. The next morning, they found themselves in an unspoken agreement to never speak of it again.

Even years later, after Lily had settled down and she and Potter got married, she still never felt the same when they made love as she had with Sirius. Lily and Potter made love, but Lily and Sirius had made _life_. When she died, a part of Sirius died with her. When he died many years later, they reunited and spent their afterlife together as one.


End file.
